My life, my scars...

Andrew Vyazovskiy, Ukraine

My works - sounds simple, but each painting is a result of stress or feelings that have covered me like a high tide, each was painted during the nights only, in complete loneliness, in piece and quiet, I can be honest with the canvas only when I hear nothing but my heartbeat. I never felt like I belong to some certain place, I love changing places of living, enjoy each new experience and everything new, my first painting was "Finally I fell asleep", this one is special, I have never been to any art schools or universities, each artwork is a part of my life experience, the name for the first painting says for itself, I could not sleep for a week almost, I decided to stay at home for a week, so I resigned from my work and stayed at home, I could not find a place for myself, I felt that there is something that I have to do, but I could not understand what was it, in two days of walking around my flat I wend out, and started walking around my city, in a few hours of wondering around my home city I bumped into the paint shop, incredibly old, soviet shop, with lots of various blank canvas. I was standing there for an hour almost, it felt weird, I felt like I have finally found it, this is what I was searching for, but there was a problem - WHAT THE HELL WILL I DO WITH THIS???? Then it came to me, I understood that I just have to feel, no thinking, just pick up the colors I feel. I have made a choice without spending 10 seconds on thinking even, just took what I felt, old Lady that was a seller there even started joking on me, standing almost for an hour but chose canvas and the colors for my first painting in a few seconds only,,, OK - here I am, its about to start, I came home and I am about express it all out, in the same way I felt when my Mom bought me Lego when I was a child. But there was a problem, for hours I could not touch the canvas, I did not see what It had to become, after a midnight I came up to it, set in front of it and that is how it all stated, color after color, it started appearing, each line gave me confidence about my next move, each new detail brought me an understanding of what will I do next, so it started growing into the feelings that were lying on the canvas now, it felt as I have thrown a mountain off my shoulders, the childish happiness got mixed with adult feelings, I fell asleep right next to the painting, 16 hours without waking up and hearing my cell phone, woke up with a horrible pain in the back, well, it will be so if you sleep on the floor, the credit card that I used for painting sticked to the floor, mess around the room and my crazy smile, childish feelings, empty head and pure happiness. The night that brought me the understanding of how I wand to live, what I wand to do and what goes next. From that time I paint, I do it once in a year, sometimes even in two and more, I cannot touch colors unless there is a story to share or feelings to express and it cannot happen all the time as I think.